Family – Eat Well. Live Fully.

Miss You, Dad.

Originally posted on December 23, 2010 (hence the reference to Reverb10). Bumping back up/Re-posting on December 23, 2015

I hate this day. I will always hate this day. On December 23, 2006, my father died from prostate cancer. As deaths from prostate cancer go, he was lucky. If you can describe dying far too young from a horrible disease lucky. He’d been diagnosed a bit more than 3 years earlier, had 3 good years where we all thought the disease had been caught early enough, the treatments were working. He was going to be one of those men who died 20 years later from some other old age related condition *with* prostate cancer. Not someone who actually dies *from* prostate cancer. I mean, who does that. As cancers go, isn’t prostate cancer one of the least deadly????

That’s what we thought. That’s what so many people think.

Yet, prostate cancer ranks second among cancers for deaths in males. Each year over 32,000 men in the USA die from prostate cancer.

I said my Dad was lucky. At least lucky for those who this horrid disease kills. He did not have years of suffering because the prostate cancer had invaded his bones. Internet searches yielded story after story of men who spend years in pain from prostate cancer of the bones. My Dad’s prostate cancer went to his liver, caused electrolyte imbalances which eventually stopped his heart. It happened fast. Far too fast.

In April of 2006 his PSA readings were normal, as they had been for the 3 years he’d been on hormone therapy. At his August check with the urologist, they had sky rocketed. In early September he and Mom toured England. While on the trip he started feeling some soreness in his hip (the start of a bone metasis). A late September PET scan showed the spot on his hip, but also spots on his liver. October brought unproductive attempts at chemotherapy. Several trips to the hospital were needed to stabilize his electrolytes. I last saw him Thanksgiving weekend. He made a heroic effort that weekend to remain strong, appear normal to Kiddo. Shortly after we left, he collapsed. The following week he was so weak, he had to be moved to a nursing home. On December 23, as we drove to see him, he died.

His death and the Christmas season will always be intertwined.

The day 19 prompt for Reverb 10 was healing. A prompt especially poignant for me this week. Because this is a wound which will never fully heal for me. A routine evening drive, just Kiddo and I, a quick detour to look at Christmas lights….suddenly the bandage was ripped away. The old wound exposed. I found myself with tears streaming down my face, quietly crying as we drove. Hoping and praying Kiddo wouldn’t notice, that I wouldn’t have to explain.

I remember after Dad’s funeral asking my cousin, who’d lost her father the year before, when it would get better. Her answer, “Never, but it gets easier”.

Each year in the US, approximately 217,000 new cases of prostate cancer are diagnosed. Diagnosed early, this disease is often treatable, manageable, and not necessarily life threatening. Simple tests – the PSA blood test and the digital exam can spot problems early. I will never know if he hadn’t waited 3 years between his PSA tests whether the outcome would have been different for my Dad. But I often wonder. Don’t leave your family wondering. Get tested.

My cousin was right; now I can remember Dad fondly, think of him often, each memory doesn’t bring fresh tears. Grief securely tucked away. But this time of the year it all comes back. The pain, the anger, the questions, the guilt. Exposed as if he died yesterday.

And so, I hate this day. I hope that on the other 364 days of the year, I honor him in what I do. Use the life lessons he taught me, the gifts he gave me, the example he set. That these are apparent in my life, in how I raise my son. But this day, the day he died, will always be a day to condemn this awful disease. And remind the men in my life to get tested. Every year.

In December I’m doing an on-line initiative, called Reverb 10, designed to help participants reflect on 2010 and manifest what’s next in 2011. Each day participants are given prompts or thought starters to blog, tweet or journal..

Maine….. Or check off states 48&49, which just leaves Alaska.

So do you have to tag blog posts with a #latergram or #whythehelldidittakesolong or #delayedpost type hashtag? Because I seem to not get stuff written in real time, and then never get it written because I feel guilty or weird or something for not posting promptly. Anyway….

Over Labor Day, my niece was married in Maine. The trip to celebrate this marriage was the real reason for our trip to Boston. I grew up in a family which traveled often (in the road trip style that was the norm back then). Between lots of childhood trips, business trips and the love of travel my parents instilled in me, I had been to 47 of the 50 US states. Alaska, New Hampshire and Maine remained (haha that made me laugh) to be conquered. The drive from Boston ticked off NH into the been there done that check off the list column, while Maine made me want to return. Even if the drive from Boston seemed never ending, who knew Maine was such a long state.

The wedding was in the small town of Winter Harbor, a coastal village in the Arcadia National Forest area. The coastline here is stunning due to the rocky nature. We knew we wanted to explore by bikes, so one of the first things we did was ask the Innkeeper for recommendations. She suggested Seascape Kayaks in nearby Birch Harbor. It was a good thing we stopped by on Saturday morning, as they are closed on Sunday. The owner graciously offered to size us to bikes and helmets, and leave them in a rack for us to grab on Sunday.

After securing the bikes we used the rest of the morning before the wedding to explore the island, and take in the beauty of the shore. I was taken with the rock seams between the sparkly speckled granite and the black rock.

The wedding was beautiful, the bride gorgeous. Kiddo’s sister and her Mom were in from Maryland. As was Hubby’s brother, the father of the bride. It was great to all be together to celebrate. From the gift bags in our room to the thoughtful touches like dancing shoes, bug spray and a pre-planned hashtag it was evident much thought and planning had been put ino e event. They even sat us for dinner with another cycling couple!

Sunday began with a wedding brunch, and then our chance to bike tour. Seascape Kayaking is perfectly situated along the 12 mile loop around the Schoodic Peninsula. Nearly half the route is in the one way Park Service road which has several options to stop, picnic, use the potties and take in the views. We even saw a porcupine along the ride. A first for me outside a zoo. Kiddo loved exploring and climbing the rocks along the shore.

After returning the bikes, we drove over to Bar Harbor to look around and grab a bite to eat. Naturally I searched out a brewery for this.Atlantic Brewing and Mainely Meats was our stop. Recommend both for a visit!

We stayed at a charming bed and breakfast in Prospect Harbor. Gracious hosts. Great food (even accommodated my gluten free requests). A wonderful option if you’re in the area. I can’t wait to go back!

Annual visit to the Wisconsin State Fair

Closing day of theWisconsin State Fair meant it was now or never for Kiddo and my annual trip to the fair. We have a bit of a routine to our visits…venturing into some new things, but generally following a similar path each year. We’re not big midway people (despite being theme park junkies), nor do the expo halls really call us. For us is more about the cream puffs, the corn, the milk, the barns and the people watching.

With Kiddo now a teenager, and becoming more independent, increasingly wrapped up in the world of his friends, I’m thrilled that this is still “our” thing.

We started with a trip up the fairgrounds on the sky glider, noticing changes from prior years, chatting about past visits, what was here when I was a kid. Talking about all the crazy foods along the grandstands. We were at first alarmed when we got to the other end, and there was no milk booth. Then we noticed the sign saying it had moved to the south end of the grandstand.

We began to weave our way through barns, checking out the chickens, rabbits, goats, cows. Making our way towards the corn. I typically pause at this container garden along the way.

The New Berlin Lions Club roasted corn has been a fair favorite of mine since I was a kid. Signs above the booth say it’s been there 55 years, so definitely older than me (yes, I know, but not by a whole lot).

The racing ducks are new this year, and were a fun stop.

Finally we found the milk booth. I’m always surprised by the lines here. They move fast and at .25cents a cup, one of the best bargains at the fair. Unfortunately, the Cherry Vanilla and RootBeer flavors were sold out. This is often the case on the last day of the fair. We did a bit of our own mixology, trying Strawberry-Banana and Chocolate-Banana.

Of course, Wisconsin is not just the dairy state, it also has a strong beer culture. Which was even apparent in the Horticulture and craft exhibition hall. Kiddo suggested I need this Christmas tree.

Finally we made it to the Cream Puff Pavilion. Went through the line so we could watch them being assembled. Then grabbed a box to go. Another fair visit complete.

Looking back at my write up of our fair visit in 2010, not much has changed…other than Kiddo growing up. ACK!!!!

Mountain Biking Family Style

“Oh, c’mon Mom, you’ve ridden over much harder stuff than that!” That’s what you’ll hear if you’re around and I take the bail out, easy way around a trail obstacle. It’s the voice of my kiddo pushing me forward, urging me on, seeing skills and technique in me that I doubt in myself. We’re not your stereotypical mountain biking family….you know the ones you see at trail campgrounds and race weekends. The ones where the husband has been riding for years, the wife picked it up from him (or just watches from the sidelines), and the kiddos have been riding trails nearly as long as they could walk. Oh no. That’s not us. Not at all. At times I joke, we’re like the blind leading the blind.

But a mountain biking family we are.

A bit over 3 years ago after years of being a sloth, I started cycling as a way to get fit and lose weight. Road riding was good. I enjoyed it, but as a new cyclist in a semi-urban area, the traffic gave me pause. Riding paved paths was good, but still something was missing. On a whim in September of 2010, I attended a women’s mountain biking demo event. 2 hours later I was hooked. Convinced Hubby and Kiddo to try some local trails. In June of 2011, the whole family attended clinics at the Midwest Women’s Mountain Bike Clinic weekend. Fast forward two years, we’re a month away from our third trip to this great event. We ride together nearly weekly. Have been season pass holders at Ray’s Indoor Mountain Bike Park the past two winters. Kiddo, now 13 but at 10 years old was afraid to ride his bike fast, will be attending his second freeride/downhill camp at Woodward at Copper in July. We plan vacations around mountain biking. Bought a bike or two (each). Even tried our hands at a couple of races. I won the women’s intro class of The Brown County Super-D, while Kiddo and Hubby both earned medals in their age class at the Fall Colors Festival in WI.

To say mountain biking has changed our lives, brought us closer, made us healthier is a huge understatement.

Last weekend was our first family trail ride of the season. I’d been out riding by myself a few times already this year. In fact having done the most riding I’d done in months combined with starting a new strength training program, I was in need of an easy rest ride. Well, a full rest day, but the sun was shining and the trails were open. Hubby and Kiddo were eager to go. Especially Kiddo. He asked if he could go ahead and push to see how far and fast he could go without stopping. Last summer, our rides consisted of resting at nearly every bench and the top of every climb in our main local trails, the John Muir system in the Southern Kettle Moraine of southeast Wisconsin. Kiddo wanted to see which bench he could make it to before he had to rest. We agreed to do a 5 mile loop of the brown&white trails and meet back at the shelter. Kiddo first. Hubby behind. I’d take up rear (knowing I was going easy and stopping to take pictures). They quickly dusted me. Never saw them after the first descent. Hubby got dropped at the first climb.

I got back to the shelter to find two smiling guys. Kiddo was still breathing hard with a bit of a flush on his face behind his beaming grin. He’d done the whole loop, 5 miles without stopping. Totally clean, no dabs, no feet down. The trail is flowing up and down with a challenging, root filled, sustained climb (yeah, yeah it’s WI, challenging and sustained to our scale). He was so fired up. Kept saying how glad he was he’d tried. That he had to prove to himself he could do it. The pride and passion in his voice made this Mom proud.

Yes, we’re a mountain biking family. It’s gonna be a great summer.

Day with Kiddo…..1st ride of the Spring

This has felt like the winter that wouldn’t end. Combine that with some unusually busy weekends, and a focus on training for a half marathon, and I just haven’t been out riding. Kiddo and I were home alone this weekend, while Hubby was down at the Masters. As we planned our weekend, Kiddo suggested we go mountain biking. When I explained the trails were closed because they were too wet, we discussed riding Milwaukee’s lakefront trail. We’d done this last year, this same weekend, and I’d written it up here. I knew the South Shore Half Marathon was Sunday, and was worried the lakefront trail would be too crowded due to the race. I’ve been wanting to try the Lake Country Recreational trail, so this is where we decided to ride.

The 13 mile Lake Country trail runs along the southern end of Pewaukee Lake and Lake Nagawicka from just west of Hwy T in Pewaukee (the trailhead is close to Country Springs Hotel on Golf Road) through Delafield and on to Oconomowoc. This is a good map of the trail.

After airing up the tires, and giving both our bikes the once over, my first challenge was loading the bikes. I’ve never put the hitch rack on my car, and didn’t feel comfortable attempting without a demo – the vision of rack and 2 bikes falling off on the highway was a bit too scary. Throwing my road bike in the back of the car is easy. But my hybrid is bigger, heavier, more unwieldy, and a second bike adds to the difficulty. I can never remember front wheel first or back wheel, but somehow I got them both in, using an old yoga mat to protect the paint and drivetrain of my bike.

The trail runs along a right of way under Wisconsin Electric lines. The first 3 or so miles are paved, a bit further down the trail changed to crushed gravel.

Views ranged from golf courses to marsh to lake views. Though suspect once the trees leaf out, lake views will be limited.

Kiddo and I enjoyed our time out on the trail. Being the 1st ride of the season we realized we could use a bit of work on our endurance. Nonetheless this ride whetted our appetite for more. We’re both excited to hit other trails, make a family ride a weekly event.

Through the eyes of a child…..

“Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus.”

New York Sun, 1897

Late Christmas Eve, noticed Kiddo, who is at the age of tottering on the fence of belief, in a flurry of activity. Grabbing cup and plate, rooting around in the fridge, searching for paper and pen, amassing a variety of Christmas hats – our matching Mickey & Minnie Mouse Santa hats, the Green Bay Packers version, the Christmas tree hat we’d picked up at Lynn’s Paradise Cafe over Thanksgiving. Final preparations before heading to bed.

Close inspection of the note brought a smile to my face. Not just cookies and milk, but also apples for the reindeer (and an apology that Mom wasn’t currently stocking carrots in the fridge). The hats to give Santa a bit of creative ideas.

Santa did seem to enjoy the feast…and left a snowboard for Kiddo, a shovel for Grandma, and treats for all.

Of course the family gifts were beckoning, too. Kiddo did the usual duty of sorting them out. A pile at one end of the couch for Grandma, at the other end for Mom, by a chair for Dad, and of course, another pile for himself. I was charmed by the sight of him wearing the new RoadID Santa had stuffed in his stocking, the Packers hat from his big Sis, the snow goggles from Mom & Dad while playing with the hockey goal light and horn from Uncle Jeff.

I was thrilled with my stash…a perfect set of presents. Books (the best kind: a gardening one, a biking one, and a cooking one) plus a Nook from Hubby, gift cards from Mom, along with the LeCrueset prep bowls I’d fallen in love with over Thanksgiving and an orchid for my new windowed office from kiddo.

Soon the wrapping carnage covered the floor.

But where was kiddo……..outside, of course, trying out the snowboard under the watchful eye of Kutya the Wonder Dog. Two days ago the yard was an MTB trail, today a snowboard hill.

Where’d he go now? Oh I see Kutya found him in a heap at the bottom of the hill. Can’t wait to do some shredding on a real hill.

Reindeer Games and Christmas Wishes

Decided to get a little fresh air and outdoor fun into my day by riding the mountain bike around in the snow. Kutya loves to play in the snow, and gave chase as I went round and round the yard, up and down little hills, over any bump I could find.

I was surprised by how much more effort it takes to ride through snow. How after several times around I was breathing pretty hard. Took me three times to make it up the side “trail” without stopping, or at least dabbing my foot down. Needed to trust my momentum, keep pedalling, shift slightly forward. Good practice for riding real trails.

Spent about thirty minutes making tracks all through the yard. Wiped out once crossing the driveway, my back tire sliding out from under me. Made me laugh more than anything. All the while Kutya by my side.

As I suspected when Kiddo got home, saw the tracks and realized what his Mom had been up to, he also had to give snow biking a try. And discovered exactly what I had, it’s hard work.

On Thursday, I got in my first winter ride. Roads were wet and slick with many more icy patches on the bike path than I expected. Will take a bit more riding to get comfortable riding in winter. Did a mere 3.5 miles around the neighborhood. It felt great to ride.

This year I didn’t do my usual Christmas tree in every room thing. Skipped my obsession with every tree has a theme, a color scheme. Instead, just went with one real tree. Real tree, real sentiment. Using the ornaments that have some meaning to us. Kiddo and I enjoyed unwrapping each one from their tissue, lots of “oh, I remember this one”, “oh, this is my favorite”, followed shortly by “No, this is my favorite”

These really are some of my favorites.

These are new this year. Purchased from SpokenSitch’s Etsy store. Stars (Kiddo calls them snowflakes) made from bike chain. These and their matching key ring make me smile.

This Noah’s Ark ornament(s) has been a sentimental favorite of mine for years. They’ve been through several moves, several life changes with me, probably 15 years old. Little pairs to hang together – Noah and wife, Mr and Mrs Penguin, Lion, Deer and Sheep.

The Dr. Suess collection was built over the years after Kiddo was born, and we were reading our way through the books. Started with One Fish, Two fish (which is still my favorite), now includes Cat in the Hat, Hop on Pop, Green Eggs and Ham, Horton Hears a Who, The Grinch. Like with the Noah’s Ark group, I enjoy finding a spot of the tree to hang them en mass.

Humuhumunukunukuapua’a, one of my favorite words to say. Represents Maui, one of my favorite places on earth.

Kutya the Wonder Dog gets mentioned or pictured in this blog often. But Princess Bijou does not. A rare chance to catch a photo of her. Like Kutya, she’s a rescued pet. Pretty and petite. She’s a great hunter, helping to keep the house mouse free. Or at least that’s what we hope.

Merry Christmas! Wishing you all the blessings of the season.

Love (like?) Winter

Here it’s December, Everyday…..

Was reminded of that fact this morning when I dropped Kiddo off at school, and he commented about car ahead of us, “What a cool license plate”.

H8 WNTR

After a long, glorious,seemingly never ending fall, winter has come in with a vengeance. Seemed like one day temperatures were still hanging in the 40’s, and the next snow was flying and temps were in the teens. Or lower.

Somewhat ironic that Kiddo would notice and point out a license plate with that sentiment. Of everyone in the household, he and Kutya the Wonder Dog seem to enjoy winter the most. [Truth disclosure, these three pictures were from last winter…we’ve had snow (not quite this much), they’ve recreated these scenes more than once (I just haven’t gotten any pictures) Yet.]

I, on the other hand, have to be eased into it. And this winter there has been no easing – more like a full frontal assault. The season began with my first experience of a mandatory Wisconsin tradition, a Packers game at Lambeau Field….in December. I was immersed into winter. Dragged kicking and screaming (or at least grumbling). Frozen. Just so we’re clear, when it comes to winter games at Lambeau Field, this lifelong Chicago Bear fans has been there, done that and checked the box. September or October games, probably, November or December games in a suite, maybe…….December games in the stands, not gonna happen again.

Even when I leave Wisconsin, there’s no avoiding Old Man Winter. This week when biz travel took me to Des Moines, I was greeted in the hotel lobby by this lovely sight on Monday evening. 9 degrees with an overnight low of 4, really?!? When I called home, Hubby tried to make me feel better by telling the overnight low at home was supposed to be 0. That. Did *Not*. Make me feel better.

Still I know I live in a great state for winter fun. Maybe not Colorado level skiing, but decent skiing close by. Kiddo begins 6 weeks of snowboard lessons next month, giving Mom an opportunity to ski while he learns! Tons of places to ice skate. Could learn snow shoeing or cross country skiing.

Have a pledge to myself to get on a bike, ride, to at least pedal a bit outside (not on the damn trainer) every week over winter. This week a couple of spins around the yard – on our home off road trail 😉 were completed to get the picture of the commuter in the snow. Now Commuter and Road bike have been moved to the basement. But considering putting some studded tires on Sally Schwinn or the MTB to get in the occasional ride beyond the yard.

Or better yet, maybe I can take a lesson from these guys, who seem to be having so much fun, and do some actual trail riding! Huge props to Capital Off Road Pathfinders at madcitydirt.org for building and maintaining these trails – which I hope to ride one of these days. Even if my first spin around them is in the spring.

A trip to paradise………

When I was a child my family would travel
Down to Western Kentucky where my parents were born
And there’s a backwards old town that’s often remembered
So many times that my memories are worn.

And daddy won’t you take me back to Muhlenberg County
Down by the Green River where Paradise lay
Well, I’m sorry my son, but you’re too late in asking
Mister Peabody’s coal train has hauled it away

–John Prine, Paradise

After 10 years away from Kentucky, I found myself once again back in the Bluegrass state for the second month in a row. The first trip is written into two blog posts – Lexington and Lousiville.

Ok, so maybe we weren’t in Muhlenberg county, but it was a trip back to Western Kentucky, a visit to Mammoth Cave along the Green River and a stop at Paradise along the way. Not the Paradise Mine referred to in John Prine’s song, but Lynn’s Paradise Cafe, in Louisville.

Last time we were at this fun and eclectic (not to mention yummy) restaurant was to celebrate Kiddo’s 1st birthday. He’s now 11. It’s been a while. First discovered when I was working for a wine & spirit distributor in Kentucky. Occasionally had lunches there with customers, or bites with co-workers when I was in town for a meeting. When we moved to Louisville, we discovered how great a place it is for brunch. Bobby Flay did a Throwdown with Lynn. (WTF, my second Bobby Flay mention in two days, and I’m seriously not *that* big of a fan)

Don’t let these pictures fool you. The place is usually packed. This was mid-morning on a Monday. Not exactly prime time. As we were leaving the lunch crowd was beginning to arrive. Love how every inch is decorated. Even the bathrooms! Fun touches (and puzzles on the tables). Kiddo and I enjoyed a nice game of Would you rather…

Kiddo, Mom and I had fun from the second we pulled in the parking lot, right through brunch and a trip to the gift shop. The gift shop seems to be an addition (to the building) since we moved from Kentucky. Kiddo couldn’t resist the fun Christmas hat.

After brunch we began the last leg of our drive to Nashville (this is the post on that part of the trip). Along the way we made a stop at Mammoth Cave. Kiddo has been asking to visit a cave…swears he’s never been to one. Doesn’t seem to remember that he did visit Mammoth Cave as an 8 month old in one of those baby pouches.Looks like they are re-modeling the Visitor’s Center. Mom hung out in the Mammoth Cave Hotel while Kiddo and I enjoyed the 2 hour “New Entrance” (new in 1921) tour.

The tour is marked as moderately strenuous due to about 500 steps. Pace was leisurely, but we were always going up or down steps or ramps. Kiddo was suitably impressed. Which makes me glad.I love visiting caves. Kiddo and I want to go back and do one of the longer spelunking tours – a bit of crawling and climbing and exploring.

Who woulda thought such unassuming entrances and exits would hide such natural wonder. If in the area, a must visit. Because despite what John Prine sang, Mr Peabody didn’t quite haul off all of Paradise!

A trip to paradise………

When I was a child my family would travel
Down to Western Kentucky where my parents were born
And there’s a backwards old town that’s often remembered
So many times that my memories are worn.

–John Prine, Paradise

After 10 years away from Kentucky, I found myself once again back in the Bluegrass state for the second month in a row. The first trip is written into two blog posts – Lexington and Lousiville.